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this is probably going to be a somewhat emo post..

so, i've just been busy-body-ing around, reading other people's blogs. and everyone seems to have a drama of some kind. it's really funny why people have to go through all these ups and downs in life..why can't we just keep it simple? is it not fun if it's simple?

it just got me thinking..i guess people's emo thoughts are getting to me as well..
i don't know if anyone actually visits this site, but if u are reading this and if u will see me sometime after u read this, please just ignore me and i'd appreciate it if u not mention anything from my blog.

i've been keeping alot of emotions, feelings..watever..and i know a blog is where u're suppose to let go of all this stuff. but somehow, i just feel like i don't want the world to know what i'm going through. i guess i'm afraid that people will look at me differently..

being here in australia has really challeged my limits over and over again. I thought i was strong, but i am weak. I thought things will go my way, but fate turned it's back on me. I thought that starting anew here refreshed my page, but it kept a history. somehow things never go right, and i really don't know what to do.

i have no one to talk to. and you'd say, sure you do! you have your friends, you have us! i know that, it's just, i don't feel open enough to talk to any of my aussie frens about it. and people back home are just..out of reach.

i recently confronted someone i care about dearly, and now that i think about it, i really have no idea why i did it. we were both very hurt, and in the end nothing came out of it. truth hurts right? i know. i felt that i could talk to that someone, sadly i made a wrong move. now i really have no one to talk to. and i feel really really terrible and degraded.

im not used to all of this. i can't sacrifice this much. i just can't. so i'm sorry if my decisions caused alot of grief and hurt, but i hope you understand that i have a heart too, and this heart of mine, like yours, is capable of missing things and people. I really apologise if i'm being selfish, maybe in the future you'll get a clearer picture, for now just understand that i need this.