The sad, sad week

Must...stay....alive.....

I was talking about my blog, not me. I'm still alive and well. LOL

Was planning to blog about some stuff early last week but never really got to it. The last week was almost hell for me...felt depressed the entire week. I missed home very much and the fact that my family went on holiday without me for the first time didn't help a whole lot either. The only 'highlight' of the week was Saturday night where we went out to celebrate Amir's 23rd at this fancy seafood restaurant called Seagrass. Even so, I wasn't really in the mood or up for it..was feeling too goddamn tired because I had to wake up VERY early to go back to the lab to do some stuff. Turns out the effort was to no avail. sigh. Experiment gagal lagi. Bertambahnya Depression.

Depressing events that took place early last week. In a nutshell:
Last monday during my lab meeting, I presented my results to my lab group and got bombarded for almost half an hour. I sulked and refused to talk to anyone the whole day..Didn't have the mood to socialize with anybody in the office 'tea room' also. On Tuesday, I logged on to LMS and checked my results for an assignment and was VERY disappointed at the grade i was awarded. I can't remember the last time I ever did so badly in an assignment other than the time i failed biology in high school.
On Thursday, I woke up feeling slightly less depressed and was looking forward to lunch with Hann Meng. I was almost counting down the hours till lunch time then half an hour before lunch, Hann Meng told me he wasn't in the lab and that he won't be meeting me for lunch. That really threw me off..I went back to sulking the entire day.
It took me the duration of 4 and a half songs to walk from the lab back home for almost the entire week. That's 1.5 songs longer than the usual time I spend walking home (If I take a longer time to walk home, chances are I'm upset about something, If i take a shorter time to walk home, I'm in a good mood).I know this might sound weird but that routine of walking to and fro from the lab and home is sort of 'my sacred time and space'. It is a time where I'm able to gather my thoughts and feelings, to confront whatever that has been bothering me. To feel happy, or depressed, or confused. I put on my super noise reduction earphones and whatever noises the outside world makes is totally oblivious to me. Only the wonders of my mind and whatever music that is playing on my IPod accompanies me, to the lab and back.

I'm not sure how many of you actually have a need for your own 'time and space'. With the hectic lives we all now live, it really is quite hard to find any time at all to just sit and reflect on your own life or other people's lives. I am quite confident to say that I would lose all sanity had I not have my own 'time and space', however little it may be.

So, there you have it! The very sad week that I had.
I was going to mention these things last week, but I was too busy doubting myself and wallowing in my own misery that I just didn't have the mood to blog about anything. I wasn't going to sit in front of my laptop, think about all the awful things that had happened to me in the week and start blogging about it. No, I was going to pick myself up and do whatever it is I can do cheer me up.